Ambition: A Well. Balanced. Life.

There is rapidly developing a soil shortage on your planet. That is, you are running out of good soil in which to grow your food. This is because soil needs time to reconstitute itself, and your corporate farmers have no time. They want land that is producing, producing, producing. So the age-old practice of alternating growing fields from season to season is being abandoned or shortened. To make up for the loss of time, chemicals are being dumped into the land in order to render it fertile faster. Yet in this, as with all things, you cannot develop an artificial substitute for Mother Nature which comes even close to providing what She provides.
— Neale Donald Walsch, Conversations With God: An Uncommon Dialogue, Vol.2

I've been clocking MINUTES of my activities on the daily. It looks like a big white piece of reading rainbow teacher paper meets a diverse ordered action Sharpie party (on best behaviour...the Ruler is there to ensure this). 

Columns include:

1) Piano Practice

2) Meditation

3) Jams/recording/lessons

4) Physical Activity 

5) Website biz 

And if an 8 hour day commitment to music as my Job with a capital J, it all comes back to Discernment and Values. 

Balance isn’t something you find, it’s something you create.
— Jana Kingsford

Like where's the spot for:

1) Friendships/family

2) Reading

3) Naps

4) Walks 

5) Groceries

I ask this because I wonder, what am I ambitious for? Because ambition, though I admire it's FIRE, often not only stokes my drive but my anxiety/panic ticker... and what's the point in that.

Especially, ESPECIALLY, with what we are all awake to right now, politically. And everything is political. 

What is my stance then? Well... to show up to the work. TO ALL OF THE WORK. the work of being an artist human creature woman. 

....and trust me... there is a fear that the word Balance sounds like an apology, like a throwing in the towel, like a wet blanket. And this is what I am then curious about. What is old school wiring and what is the real true humanity calling. 

Don’t work for appraisal or appreciation, work for your personal growth.
— Sivaprakash Sidhu